Der Kaiser

Wah senangnya main bola 3 hari berturut2 di 3 tempat dan jenis lapangan yang berbeda…
Walau harus hancur kaki kiri, berkat permainan yang menyenangkan tentu…

Jumat 24 malam atau Sabtu 00 3 Juni 2006 Dian Kancana, Hari Marah2 TMB Day, bener2 kejadian, hehehe… setelah bertanding sengit dengan juara TPB games dan ketinggalan mungkin 5 gol, berkat permainan mereka yang tanpa sportivitas…
Diawali dengan tendangan kasar terhadap kiper bung Hani, yang sudah maju menahan dengan tangan, lalu Yusni yang dihimpit hingga ke pagar kawat, Odra yang disikut padahal dia kiper yang sedang menguasai bola…
Rey yang sudah tidak tahan lagi mulai mengilhami makna dari HMT-Day, <adegan marah2 ini sangat panas, sehingga tak dapat diungkapkan dengan kata2> untung ada bung Agoy yang saat itu merupakan orang yang paling tua di lapangan, melerai keduanya, dan Rey yang berpikir apa gunanya marah2 ama anak mami, mulai tenang…
Permainan mulai dilanjutkan kembali dengan keunggulan juara TPB games dengan +5 gol, lalu mereka kembali melesakkan gol dengan serangan cepat yang memanfaatkan TMB yang masih emosi, dan saya pun kembali masuk ke lapangan menggantikan bung Iqbal, tak disangka celana robek, lutut kiri bagian dalam lecet akibat terlalu banyak sliding tackle…
Dengan sedikit koordinasi dan pengaturan dari pemain yang baru masuk tersebut, TMB sangat menguasai permainan, dan terbukti dengan tercetaknya 7 gol (lebih deh kayanya) dan hanya kebobolan 1 gol (itu juga bunuh diri) maka berakhirlah permainan dengan terbungkamnya mereka…

Sabtu 19 malam 03 Juni 06 Sabuga, kali ini TMB FC yang hanya diwakili oleh Odra, Hani, Aul, Rey, Yusni, Ario dan Saya melawan tman2 Ario dari Purwokerto, yang katanya Ario seh mereka gak bisa main bola… Sempat berencana menukar2 posisi untuk memahami perasaan kawan di posisi lain, tapi niat itu kami urungkan karena udara sangat dingin dan lapangan benar2 seperti sawah… Permainan sangat seru sekali, karena ternyata mereka adalah pemain2 yang sangat avid memanfaatkan posisi dan passing, hanya beberapa menit lutut kiri yang kemarin lecet di hajar tepat diposisi luka yang sama, tapi memang lawan tak sengaja, jadi ya cuma bisa senyum2 aja… skor sementara 3-4 keunggulan tim Puerto Riko… Lalu penyerang kiri mereka berusaha melewati saya, blok dengan kaki kiri, dan ternyata penyerang tersebut melibas kaki kiri saya dengan kedua kakinya tepat di betis… memang tidak pelanggaran dan penyerangan berhasil dirubah menjadi counter dan menghasilkan skor 4 sama, tapi kaki kiri yang memang sudah kesakitan jadi tambah sakit… Tali sepatu mulai lepas dengan sendirinya, karena air bercampur pasir di lapangan sawah ini… Memang mereka tim yang hebat karena beberapa saat kemudian berhasil unggul 5-7… Tapi berkat kerja keras TMB FC dan melupakan lelahnya pertandingan 16 jam silam kamipun berhasil menang 9-8 berkat penjaga lapangan yang mengancam akan mematikan lampu… Dan semua pemain mendapat sepatu baru malam itu, hehehe…

Minggu 8 pagi 04 Juni 06 SESKO-TNI… Lapangan tersusah bagi setiap pemain sepak bola, yang lebih mirip arena perang ketimbang lapangan… Tim Tennis (karena memiliki bola tennis) terdiri dari Erikson, Zacki, Aul, Kai, Maki, Gingin, Agoy dan Sodaranya Agro melawan Tim Gancur (karena depannya Gawang tanahnya sangat Ancur) terdiri dari Odra, Agro, Saya, Rey, Noor, Yusni, Eki dan Balet melakukan sebuah pertandingan di lapangan tempur tersebut dengan 2 babak yang masing2 30 menit menurut jam Eki… Alhasil babak pertama berakhir 0-5 untuk tim Gancur, dan saya kembali teringat nikmatnya melakukan sliding tackle di atas rumput, walau kaki kiri sudah hampir tidak merasakan apa2… Babak kedua dimulai, Kai kabur karena harus ujian MekFlu, dan dengan senang hati kami melepaskan Noor ke tim Tennis, walau dengan handicap 1 orang dan DF hanya berduaan dengan Agro kami hanya kebobolan 2 gol, Maki sang nomor 10 tim T-11+ melakukan 2x tendangan Ronaldinho dengan menghajar mistar gawang dengan jarak 2 meter dari garis gawang, waow… Pertandingan berakhir dengan skor 12-2 kemenangan total untuk Gancur…

Yah begitulah nikmatnya sepak bola harus dibayar mahal, lutut berdarah dan nyeri, betis kiri bengkak2, sekarang bau Counterpain menyelimuti ruangan dan pegal mulai terasa diseluruh tubuh… Dan kenapa tadi ada orang nikah deket lapangan? Lalu apa maksudnya rear-entry? Bagaimana pula mencari Rp 250ribu dalam waktu cepat dan halal?

NB : Banyak hal yang kita inginkan dari dunia ini, tapi belum tentu semuanya bisa kita dapatkan seberapa pun kerasnya kita berusaha (ah masa seh, gue seh gak setuju)… Intinya lakukanlah hal yang anda sukai dari hati anda, bila jatuh cinta jatuhlah dari tempat yang paling tinggi…

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I really miss her so, don’t ask me why, maybe it just me and my job, to stalk, to hunt, to kill… for 5 years I’ve been doing nothing, what a waste of time maybe you’d say, but I know what I’m doing regardless what they see until now…
Today I know for what reason that I am alive until now… To realize something like this, to get away from this feeling, but what is feeling anyway? I just know recently that, we humans possess something that we describe as ‘feeling’… Is to have something like a plus or minus that directs you for what will you do next, it can break you into pieces or put you together and strengthen you…

While listening to some old break heart song from high school, I did the same mistake like the one that I’ve already done 4 years ago…

To have feelings you must risk everything you have, make a decision out of feeling alone will make you realize that you could do better without it…
What is feeling anyway? What is the purpose of it? Will it make you happier? For the past 21 years I’ve been living without any of these, just try to mime it from anyone, placing the right reaction in the right situation, the right expression in the right occasion, sad when others sad, laugh when others laugh, sometimes I try to act it alone, and people would call me strange, strange to not having the same reaction, why?

The 17th years of my life is the turnover of my whole lifetime at least that what I think… I see someone that is very compatible to me, don’t ask me why I just knew it, you can call it a hunch for maybe it is… The truth is I see that particular someone just like an object, much more like objective… To learn what humans do, what humans think, what humans ‘feel’…

187 days observing her I notice that human comprise natural expression, from what I saw you must know when the right time to show it, and with exact disposition. Seeing her for that much time makes me think she is the perfect subject, after all I can observe her for 6 days a week 8 hours a day… Strangely enough I only understand what humans do when I see her others don’t… I don’t want people noticing me observing her, but discreet is what I am masterful for…

Time goes by, 200th day watching her makes me believe that humans conduct activities based on what they think too, not pure instinct… That is the day when I possess heart and brain partial functioning, something that you already have maybe…

250th day is the day my heart skips a beat again, the first one is the 1st day I see her… That day I can’t do anything as the way it should be… I think I am sick… Maybe it was because that day she shows her boyfriend’s photos to me, I don’t ask for it, but maybe she feels something strange from me, so she did that to make me back down from what I’m doing… But what the heck I’m not interested in her in that kind of way anyway, but why my heart skips a beat then?

355th day, graduation day, the day I discover the human expression of anxious, that day I notice her parents, a lively couple just like she did… Then I think that people do inherit heritage from their elders, what am I then? Do I possess what my parents have? That day I saw her differently, just plain different…

365th day, the day I met her for the last time in high school life, from that day I know what it really means to miss someone, for another 3 months, then I see her again on our school anniversary day, she asks me why I’m being more tanner than before, not prepared for an answer I remain silent for the day, did she notice me? or is it just a chit chat? From that experience I do know how to express shame…

A week or so, she said to me that I kept bothering her, then she said that it’s better for me to keep away from her as she already had a boyfriend, "what the heck" I said to myself, did she thinks that I want her to be mine, no not like that, I still sees her as my subject for human developing. The first time experiencing desperation, I told her the reason why my heart skips a beat two times… "I love you dearly, I don’t want anything from you, I just want you to know that I love you, that’s all, If you want to get rid of me, fine then, at least I said this for yours truly" I said that to her… Then she never noticed me again, never… That’s October 2002 for me… My first confession to a girl, a girl with a boyfriend, and I kept saying that I just want to say it to her, maybe she think it was just a joke, as I am more than good to make people laugh for that I’m only capable of that doing… And it’s a bad joke, as her boyfriend already told me firstly to get away from her, and that day he pretends to be her friend, hah what a gutless man… I hope he changed for good, at least for her… That is the day I am in love, falling in love is the first day I met her…

I think it’s February 2003 I knew if she was single again, for some reason I am being happy (and it’s the first time I realize that I am happy), but then I think who will be there to watch and guide her, then I think she is fine by herself…
Everyday I hope and pray that she’ll be fine, many attempt to contact her rendered ineffective, as I placed spies and stalker anywhere near her. It is the first time I experienced sympathy, wanting to see someone so bad it would make you hitting a wall until it’s cracked… Anyhow it made me stronger… Then I realize, did I still think of her as a subject for developing me? Think again…

Days passes by, I saw her on several occasion in these past 4 years… July 2005 on my friend wedding day that I saw her as beautiful as ever… Believe it or not I could sense the meeting with her would occur that day from 3 months before, maybe it’s just a tough luck, but not for me…
Luckily I noticed her first (or maybe I think I was), then I could keep my distance from her, for not being seen is just my specialty, stood there a tall guy staring at me, at first I know that he related with her but in what way, I don’t know…
Scared of her seeing me, I keep a safe distance from her (10 metres to be exact), yeah there it is, the first time to express scared… Maybe I am scared of her for what will she do next if she sees me, or it is just me that really is a coward that time…
20:34 PM is the first time to see her in 3 years… The first time to feel something, to feel glad for seeing her alive and well and of course as grand as ever… That is the night I won’t forget for the rest of my life…

April 2006, present day, two days ago I miss her so much that I don’t know why I feel that way… That I could sat in the side of the road talking with my friend that maybe he thinks I’m surely an idiot for missing someone who hates me for 4 years, what the heck I don’t comprise the feeling or expression of hate…
Tonight the reason I miss her so much two days ago had been answered, exactly two days ago she gone steady again don’t know with who… Then reality smacks me in the head really hard, I think I feel something, it is sad, a feeling yet you don’t want to express in front of others who don’t know you well, as I sat here in front of my PC listening to DMB’s Space Between lyrics

"You cannot quit me so quickly

There’s no hope in you for me

No corner you could squeeze me

But I got all the time for you, love

The Space Between

The tears we cry

Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more

The Space Between

The wicked lies we tell

And hope to keep safe from the pain

But will I hold you again?

These fickle, fuddled words confuse me

Like ‘Will it rain today?’

Waste the hours with talking, talking

These twisted games we’re playing

We’re strange allies

With warring hearts

What wild-eyed beast you be

The Space Between

The wicked lies we tell

And hope to keep safe from the pain

Will I hold you again?

Will I hold…

Look at us spinning out in

The madness of a roller coaster

You know you went off like a devil

In a church in the middle of a crowded room

All we can do, my love

Is hope we don’t take this ship down

The Space Between

Where you’re smiling high

Is where you’ll find me if I get to go

The Space Between

The bullets in our firefight

Is where I’ll be hiding, waiting for you

The rain that falls

Splash in your heart

Ran like sadness down the window into…

The Space Between

Our wicked lies

Is where we hope to keep safe from pain

Take my hand

‘Cause we’re walking out of here

Oh, right out of here

Love is all we need here

The Space Between

What’s wrong and right

Is where you’ll find me hiding, waiting for you

The Space Between

Your heart and mine

Is the space we’ll fill with time

The Space Between…"

Yeah I admit it I feel sad for knowing her going steady with a guy, but I think she is happier that way, sincerely I happy for her…
Then again, it concludes me as well as she made me into this complete human being…
21 years 255 days at last I am a human or at least I think that I am…

Even so my hunt doesn’t ends here and now, to get rid of 17 you must do 17 at least that what I think…
Go figure…

Akhirnya, 19 Februari 2006, tim Cahaya Bunga Hati harus gugur di semifinal, berkat permainan yang tak bernyawa sama sekali…
Kalah dari tim yang bermain 2x dalam sehari, menyakitkan tentu, walau unggul 2-0, lalu disamakan 5 menit menjelang babak kedua usai…
Menyakitkan memang, setiap anggota mencari kesalahan satu sama lain, setelah hujan turun, dan mobil Agroma (salah satu oknum defender yang kriting dan tinggi) bocor, ternyata Zacki (salah satu oknum defender yang memiliki lagu OST STEALH, tapi gak dikasih2 ke gue) menyadari bahwa kesalahan kita pada hari itu adalah lupanya berdoa sebelum pertandingan di mulai, mungkin juga karena Ilham (salah satu oknum midfielder yang mantan ketua KMMS) tidak datang dan biasanya dia yang mengingatkan untuk berdoa… Sementara Arief (oknum striker yang baru membeli flashdisk 512 MB untuk keperluan non-akadems), Maki (oknum midfielder yang ternyata juga pemain basket), Ericson (oknum goalkeeper yang ternyata belum latihan lompatan ke kiri) dan Gingin (oknum striker yang ternyata seorang Majalayan Beckham), sedang asyik menanti hujan reda di pinggir kolam renang ITB…
Benar2 kesalahan yang kami buat sendiri, tapi seperti prinsip CBH (bukan Celana dan BH) "Apa yang dimulai di lapangan harus diakhiri di lapangan" jadi kami berusaha mengikhlaskan masalah ini, walau terkadang masih terdengar oknum2 CBH suka berteriak sendiri di tengah2 kuliah atau di tengah2 lapangan…

Pelajaran yang kami ambil dari hari itu adalah pentingnya berdoa dan harus tau makan apa besok kalau2 kalah mendadak, sekian dan terima kasih, wassalam.

Tim Cahaya Bunga Hati yang minggu lalu bermain, futsal di lapangan A, menyenangkan tentunya, walau lawannya juara tahun lalu dan ditambah ketua PS-ITB (Persatuan Sepakbola, bukan Paduan Suara)…

Babak pertama dikarenakan kesalahan dari defender nomer 8 yang menyebabkan bunuh diri yang sungguh indah, menyebabkan skor 1-0 bagi tim lawan… Babak pertama berakhir 3-0 dimana CBH kalah… Tapi di akhir babak kedua kami menang 4-6, dimana Pison sebagai equaliser berkat assist dari si nomer 8…

Tapi apa ayal, kemenangan itu harus dibayar dengan luka di pipi akibat hantaman lutut salah seorang pemain lawan… Muncullah codet di pipi kiri si nomer 8…

Berjumpa dengan temannya saudara Cheppy (salah seorang pendukung SBY)… Dia bilang, "Ja’ mau gue tambahin gak codetnya, biar jadi X kaya Battousai", karena prosedur tersebut dilakukan dengan garpu, maka tawaran itu ditolak…

Dan semenjak saat itu si nomer 8 di panggil Scarface oleh beberapa temannya yang beranggapan bahwasanya wanita menyukai pria dengan luka di wajah, tapi menurut saudara Scarface anggapan itu sudah kadaluarsa seperti kerupuknya Iwan yang melempem, jaman sekarang wanita lebih suka pria dengan wajah bersih dan sedikit keibuan, mengapa keibuan kami juga tidak tahu…

Merasa kuatir dengan keadaan wajahnya, sebagaimana pengalaman2 sebelumnya dia susah skali mencari jodoh, Scarface beranggapan luka ini menjadi wabah baginya… Tapi kekuatiran itu tak beralasan lagi, diakibatkan recovery dan healing rate diatas rata2 luka itu sudah hilang, hanya tinggal baret2 di kaki kiri…

Pesan moral dari cerita di atas "main bola lah dengan ceria" dan jangan lupa nonton Final Fantasy VII Advent Children, khususnya bagi yang telah menyelesaikan game-nya…

Sekian dari kami…

-Scarface-

-The Idealist-
I am creative with a great imagination, living in my own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, I strive for harmony in my important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know me. I’m hesitant to let people get close.
But once I care for someone, I do everything I can to help them grow and develop.

-The Thinker-
I am analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything I can.
Smart and complex, I always love a new intellectual challenge.
My biggest pet peeve is people who slows me down with trivial chit chat.
A quiet maverick, I tend to ignore rules and authority whenever I feel like it.

-The Artist-
I am a gifted artist or musician (though my talents may be dormant right now).
I enjoy spending my free time in nature, and I am good with animals and children.
Simply put, I enjoy beauty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.
Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - I am good at recognizing people’s unspoken needs.

-The Mechanic-
I am calm and collected, even in the most difficult of situations.
A person of action and self-direction, I love being independent.
To outsiders I seem impulsive, surprising, and unpredictable.
I am good at understanding how all things work, except for people.

-The Inspirer-
I love being around people, and I am deeply committed to my friends.
I am also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, I can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
I use lots of colorful language and expressions. I’m quite the storyteller!

I would make an excellent writer, psychologist, artist, mathematician, programmer, professor, veterinarian, pediatrician, composer, pilot, forensic pathologist, athlete, entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

I am attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, I feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and I’m told that I’m being loved.

I’d like for my lover to think that I am optimistic and happy.

I would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

My ideal relationship is open. Both of us can talk about everything… no secrets.

My risk of cheating is low. Even if I’m tempted, I’d try hard not to do it.

I think of marriage as something precious. I’ll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

At this moment, I think of love as something I thirst for. I’ll do anything for love, but I won’t fall for it easily.

boleh nyolong dari www.blogthings.com

My Dominant Thinking Style:

Visioning

An idealist, thinking of the future helps me guide my path.
I tend to give others long-term direction and momentum.

My Secondary Thinking Style:

Exploring

I thrive on the unknown and unpredictable. Novelty is my middle name.
I am a challenger. I tend to challenge common assumptions and beliefs.

An expert inventor and problem solver, I approach everything from new angles.
I show people how to question their models of the world.

-boleh nyolong dari www.blogthings.com-

Gile Jakarta panas nian…

Masak baru jam stengah 10 aja panas nya bisa mbakar lapangan basket, yang biasanya kuat maen 5 jam, stengah jam dah melepuh kakinya…

Mungkin juga karena rehabilitasi kaki kanan yang terlalu lama, kebanyakan maen kartu, karambol dan domino… SWAT 4 juga turut bertanggung jawab atas kejadian ini…

Kan kasian juga Mas Deri Nursif yang begitu bersemangat jadi terpaksa berleha2 bersama kami di samping tiang listrik, tapi tak lama ketika dia sedang menembak bola ke ring mata nya kelilipan bola (sumpah ini cerita nyata)… Langsung saja QQ dengan sigap mengeluarkan insto dari tas nya, dan saya selaku orang yang berpengalaman dalam pekerjaan mata-mata langsung berusaha meneteskan insto ke mata bung Deri, tapi apa ayal, bung Deri terus tergelak setiap saya berusaha meneteskan insto, matanya kedip2 (sampe dikira Iqbal, si Deri ayan nya kumat)…

Dalam kondisi kritis tersebut bung Deri masih sempet ngelirik bocah2 SMA yang bertebaran di siang yang terik itu, dan tak lama mata nya sembuh… Hebat juga yah anak muda jaman sekarang… Gobit yang bosan tak melakukan apa2 mulai melakukan gerakan2 aneh di lapangan, dan QQ bertanya "Bit ngapain lo?" Gobit menjawab "Gue mau latihan jadi kiper"…

Untuk menguji kesungguhan Gobit… QQ memberikan umpan yang indah ke depan ring, lalu saya berusaha menembak bola tersebut, dan tiba2 "KREKKK" (efek suara)… Semua mengira bahwa akan datang hujan, ternyata kenyataan tak seindah perkiraan, celana saya sobek, sampe cd nya keliatan (disarankan bagi yang menderita sakit jantung atau berumur di bawah 15 tahun jangan melanjutkan membaca)…

Udah badan setengah bugil karna gak make baju, celana sobek sampe ada "sesuatu" yang muncul, kaki melepuh, ah tidak ada yang lebih indah dari saat itu… Mana bocah2 SMA yang sedari tadi bertebaran menggoda bung Deri mulai tertarik dengan apa kiranya yang muncul di siang bolong ini, ternyata Jakarta memang panas… Iqbal yang terlalu lama beristirahat mulai mengeluarkan tendangan2 aneh nya, bung Deri Nursif cedera lutut kanan gara2 saya dan terbujur kaku di sudut lapangan, Gobit masih bergerak dengan aneh dan QQ mulai membuang2 bola… Menerima kenyataan pahit ini kami memutuskan untuk menyudahi sesi olahraga kita kali ini…

Jadi itulah cerita tentang 5 orang pemuda yang menghabiskan waktu siangnya dengan berolahraga, di tengah panasnya matahari siang Jakarta… Jarang lo ada pemuda macam gini jaman sekarang, jadi sekiranya anda sedang beruntung dan bertemu dengan salah satu dari mereka, berilah mereka sedikit uang…

Ah panas betul Jakarta…